Writing the Book You Needed with Leesha Mony

ABOUT THE EPISODE

Today’s Mother Writer is Leesha Mony. I’ve had the privilege of knowing Leesha for the past couple years as a member of Motherscope’s writing community and a regular contributor. In addition to writing and mothering, Leesha is a somatic psychotherapist living in Seattle, Washington. In this episode, Leesha and I talk about her current writing project – a teachable memoir that follows her own lived experiences as a survivor navigating pregnancy, postpartum, and motherhood. Leesha shares the support and resources she’s utilized to help her stay committed to her writing process, and also reads an excerpt from her working draft. Are you in the middle of writing a book? Have you struggled with writing about trauma? Keep listening to hear what’s worked for us and more!

 
 

TOPICS DISCUSSED

  • Leesha’s connection to storytelling from an early age and the fifth grade project that became her prized possession

  • How writing became a supportive friend for Leesha as a new mother

  • When Leesha realized she had unknowingly created the outline for her book while working on an online course

  • The advice that helped Leesha gain confidence as a writer while working on her book draft

  • Creating rituals and containers that support our writing practice

  • Embracing what works best for us as writers, even if it’s unconventional

  • Leesha reads an excerpt from the draft of her book, a teachable memoir for survivors navigating their pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experiences.

ABOUT TODAY’S GUEST - LEESHA MONY

LEESHA MONY is a mother, writer, and somatic psychotherapist living in Seattle, WA. Leesha’s heart work lies in perinatal mental health and supporting survivors to navigate the intersectionality of trauma and birth. For Leesha, writing has also been a way into the deeper layer of self and others and provided a means for healing. Leesha’s writing intends to give voice to the often unnamed experiences that mothers navigate, hoping that other people will find pieces of themselves and their truths reflected in her words.

Follow Leesha on Instagram and www.leehamonytherapy.com.

MOTHERHOOD IN THE WILD

In this week’s segment, Leesha shares an excerpt from the book Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer.

REFERENCES MENTIONED

WRITING PROMPT

Write the story you wish you’d read before becoming a mother.

  • Jackie Leonard 00:00
    You're listening to Mother writer, a podcast by mother scope. I'm your host Jackie Leonard, a lifelong writer and mother of two. each week's episode will focus on the uniquely challenging and powerful dance of writing while mothering with a mix of Scylla hosted and guest episodes. You'll walk away with actionable takeaways recommendations and prompts the light of fire in you to write, share your story and proudly call yourself a mother writer. Today's mother writer is Leisha Melanie. I've had the privilege of knowing Leisha for the past couple years as a member of Mother scopes writing community and as a regular contributor in addition to writing and mothering Leisha is a somatic psychotherapist living in Seattle, Washington. In this episode, Alisha and I talk about her current writing project, a teachable memoir that follows her own lived experiences as a survivor, navigating pregnancy, postpartum and motherhood. Felicia shares the support and resources she's utilized to help her stay committed to her writing process, and also reads an excerpt from her working draft. Are you in the middle of writing a book? Have you struggled with writing about trauma? Keep listening to hear what's worked for us, and more. Hi, Alicia, welcome to the podcast.

    01:29
    Hi, Jackie, thanks so much for having me.

    Jackie Leonard 01:31
    I obviously know you. But I would love for you to first start out by introducing yourself for those listening.

    01:38
    Yeah, of course. So my name is Alicia. And I am a writer. I'm a psychotherapist. And I'm a mother. And yeah, I recently moved to the Pacific Northwest. And so I've kind of kind of learning new land and getting settled and all of those good things. So

    Jackie Leonard 01:57
    yeah, we have a similar, like kind of physical movement, we both kind of moved north, at times. And so yeah, I also feel like yes, I am adjusting to this Pacific Northwest life that's a little different than where I'm from. And it does take time. Yes, definitely. As a writer, there's been a lot of kind of source material I feel from just the internal and the external changes,

    02:23
    tons tons.

    Jackie Leonard 02:26
    So that that actually could be an interesting subject matter for an episode. But we will be talking about something that I am very much looking forward to today, because we've had a number of writers already on this on this podcast, and and some of them are working on longer work bodies of work, but you specifically, we're going to be talking about the process that you're undergoing right now of working on a book and seriously kind of diving into all that goes into that. And I think that's something that a lot of people are going to really want to hear more about. And we'll get to that shortly. But first, we'll do our motherhood in the wild segments. So, Leisha, where have you experienced or noticed motherhood in the wild that you want to talk about?

    03:12
    Yeah, oh, I love this segment. It's so fun. I so I have a dear friend of mine, who's also a mother. And throughout the day, we often will send kind of messages back and forth when we see something that's like, Oh, my goodness, this is like so relatable. Or, Oh, my goodness, this is going to happen to us in our life, or like, Oh, can you believe this happen? So it's a way of kind of being in those moments, not by yourself, when you're just like, Oh, my God and mother had just kind of hits you really quickly. And a couple of weeks ago, she actually sent me this expert from breeding sweet grass. It's like one of the end of constellation of lilies. And it just kind of it stayed with me for weeks. So I thought I'd bring it here. Okay, so I had known it would happen for the first time I held her from that moment on all of her growing would be away from me, it is the fundamental unfairness of parenthood, that if we do our jobs, well, the deepest bond we are given, we'll walk out the door with a wave over the shoulder, we get good training along the way, we learn to say have a great time, sweetie, well, we are longing to pull them back to safety, and against all of the evolutionary imperatives of protecting our gene pool. We give them the car keys and freedom, it's our job and I want it to be a good mother.

    Jackie Leonard 04:31
    So beautiful. Something about that kind of training that we get along the way and really like resonated for me. And I love that practice of, you know, exchanging little, little things that we see out and about that remind us of our current state of motherhood or possibly our future state of motherhood. That's a really beautiful thing to try to instill with you know, if for somebody listening is feeling a little disconnected from, you know, their friends or their network, they can Don't always, you know, look for something that, that they feel like, oh, I would, I'd love to share that with somebody. And like, that's a really nice ritual that you have shared that you did. What about that specifically? spoke to you or made you want to share it publicly?

    05:15
    Yeah, I think that for so much of motherhood for me so far, I have a three and a half year old. And it's been like in the moments. So I've been processing in the moments or like him growing up or being younger. And I don't really spend a lot of time in the future. I'm not like, oh, wow, one day he's gonna grow up. Oh, you know, obviously, going to preschool was my first like departure in separation from Him, which was gruesome. But I don't spend a lot of time like in the future. And like thinking, I think there's some protectiveness around that. That's very helpful. So the idea of just like, oh, wow, like, this is going to happen. And we're preparing them, and these little goodbyes are going to add up to these bigger goodbyes, and just really sat with me and wanted Yeah, wanted me to make them a little more special.

    Jackie Leonard 06:04
    Yeah. And I think there's been, I don't know, if it's a new mother put thing because a lot of motherhood for many of the people that I speak with, aligns with the pandemic. And so I had, like, I don't know, if the future thinking has been halted, because of just motherhood is naturally one of those like, day by day things or if the pandemic or both, like all kind of it has become almost like a natural inclination to not think too far ahead. For me, as well. So I think that's really a profound thing to, to identify and think like, well, that there are some things about the future that we can look to, and it might be helpful, it might be kind of something to remind us that things are going to change quickly, but also to get for people that maybe are in tough times with their children, like, you know, imagine in a year from now, when they're doing this, it's gonna what that's going to be like, Yeah,

    06:58
    I often tell myself, okay, this, this will pass, this won't be forever, this will pass. This won't be forever, which is sad, and also exciting.

    Jackie Leonard 07:05
    Yeah, I think it could be both things, right. Yes, definitely. Well, thank you for sharing that. I, I would never have heard those words if you hadn't brought them in. So so thank you. Test to segue from that segment, I would love to hear you share first. When did your journey as a writer begin? Yeah.

    07:29
    It's such a good question. So I have always been fascinated with storytelling. I've always been fascinated with lived experience of people. I've always been fascinated with writing I was when I was young, I kept a million journals. But they were always empty. I, it took me a very long time to actually get into the practice of writing on the page. So before doing that, I kind of lived in my head a little bit, and would create stories. And for a long time, when I was young, I wanted to be a journalist before deciding to be a therapist, which is kind of interesting, that kind of go together. But I have a memory of being in the fifth grade. And we had to do an interview on a family member. And I in my great grandmother was alive at the time. And so I was able to interview her. And it's been my prized possession ever since I'd like every house I've moved every time I get to unpack, I get to hold it and be like, That's it again, I just there was something about the art of storytelling, even then, that made me know that I was it was a part of me. And something that I wanted to be connected to. And when I started going to school is when really I dove into writing was so not until my 20s so I feel like I'm doing a lot of catch up work. And I feel like I'm finally Yeah, I feel like I'm able to like kind of connect to a voice that was missing for many years, but was there but just didn't know how to get out. So often. I say like writing broke me open. And so the only way to keep going is to keep going through it. So that's kind of where I became a writer. Yeah,

    Jackie Leonard 09:04
    as you were speaking, I was reminded of a recent episode I did with Kristin Barsac. And she, the episode title is lies we tell ourselves about writing. And in the episode she mentioned that to be a writer is really like kind of like a state of mind and is just thinking about stories in your head and creating stories and so even though you shared that you feel like you started in your 20s that it took you that long I feel like that writer, person personality or or tendency, you are somebody who is naturally more interested in the world and naturally very curious about people's lives. And that's why the interview with your great grandmother like really, really, you know, felt so special and so I see that even though maybe it took longer to get the words on the page. You were a writer for much, much earlier. And I think that that, that that truth that Kristen spoke in the episode just clued in when you were when you were talking. I was like, Yeah, that's very true. I because this is this podcast is mother, writer and actress writer. I, I know that for so many of us, once we become mothers, the way we approach writing also changes. How did for you becoming a mom three and a half years ago? either enhance or put more pressure? What did it what did it change for you about your approach to writing?

    10:39
    Yeah, definitely a lot. Um, I think before becoming a mother, I had like a study or practice. So it was very much like consistent. And I would turn to the page often. And yeah, for me, writing, too has always been like a way for me to understand my inner world, and to kind of process to heal, to try and imagine the future. And so when I became a mother, that only deepened because my whole inner world kind of broke open even more so than I could have ever imagined. So yeah, the writing definitely, was, was more powerful and deep, but also absent because I was a new mom. And there isn't much time, besides learning how to be a new mom to do much else. And so it wasn't for about a year until my son was a year where I returned back to the page, but had so much that I just needed to process and get through and make sense of, and so it just supported me in motherhood. And it continues to, it continues to I feel so supported, like I have a friend along the journey and a place to go and a relationship, that is a pathway to myself to my son to what it's like to be a mother. So it's definitely just deepened. Yeah,

    Jackie Leonard 12:01
    I like to think of writing, as, you know, a conversation that we have first with ourselves. And so you speaking to, like, you know, the companionship of writing, during a time that can be very isolating, it really does help alleviate that, that loneliness. We may not have other people around us, but we, I have never felt like the sense of loneliness that I think I would if I did not have writing in my life. And and so I'm glad you spoke to that. So in your 20s, and into motherhood, you've been embracing writing more meaningfully. And you're now working on a book. And so I would love to segue our conversation into what that what that is share some more about the book that you're working on, I'd love to first hear the genesis for this book idea and and where you are now.

    12:55
    Yeah, I'd love to share. So I became a cyst I've been practicing as a psychotherapist for about seven years now. And along that journey, I went to specialize in Cymatics and became very curious about how the body tells its stories without language. And so that's kind of what led me there. So that's a lot of my work. It's a lot of my book. My book is based on it's a teachable memoir, or, yeah, I think I'm still playing around with all those titles, but it's a teachable memoirs are unsettling today. And it really walks through my own personal narrative around what it was like being a survivor navigating birth, and pregnancy and postpartum. And just everything that kind of came up that I wasn't prepared for the ways psychologically, it came up the ways biologically it came up, and how it impacted my relationship and kind of how it changed. How it changed a lot of things for my journey into motherhood. Definitely to around navigating reproductive care and what that was like as a survivor, and working in the system of giving birth and in all of it. So yeah, after, after going through it myself, I did write like, this needs to be changed, or I need help with this, like what's going on with me. And I feel like since giving birth, I was trying to piece together my experience. And I often think about Melissa Phobos when she talks about this where she's like, you know, writing a memoir is really going back and like investigating and like being the investigator and reaching in looking and putting things back together and processing. And for me, that's where this book started. And then I realized how there's a lot to say here. And there's a lot of things that I would have wanted on my journey. And I haven't been able to find it. I wasn't able to find it on the world. So yeah, I'm kind of wanting to bring this conversation more We're into our cultural awareness more into our world into the place of motherhood, for sure. And so that's kind of where it's taken me. It's very exciting and very scary and all of those things, but it feels it feels right. It feels right.

    Jackie Leonard 15:15
    Yeah. You mentioned Melissa Phoebus. Is that from the book bodywork? Or was this? Yeah, yeah, that is a great book. So profound. I mean, she also very much focuses on like, kind of like our body responses to stories, but she she gets into kind of the power of personal narratives and the things that we think about to, you know, push ourselves into embracing, telling our own personal narratives and very, very much recommend that book to anybody who resonated with with what we just shared about it. Yeah, very, very profound book. It's very short, too. It's a nice, it's a quick read,

    15:57
    but quick read, and so helpful, and powerful and so much permission. And yeah, I absolutely love it.

    Jackie Leonard 16:05
    Yeah. I'm, I'm curious to know, and you may not have like a pinpointed moments. So we'll see. But I'm curious to know if there was, you know, because we often as writers have all these story ideas that we're ruminating on, and they often stay there, right, we don't actually put them down and decide to commit to doing them. Was there a moment? After all, this has had happened for you that you thought this is? This is something I need to write or this is a book?

    16:40
    Yeah, it's a good question. Um, so before I made the book, I actually worked on a course. So I was like, okay, it was like middle of pandemic, what can I do with these times, like, I had all this information, I wanted to get this information out. So I built a course. And I did it all. And it ended up becoming my outline, because I realized what was missing so much from the course was my story, and the voice and narratives and the lived experience. And so I kind of turned that whole course into an outline of a book. And that's where it kind of was birthed in a lot of ways.

    Jackie Leonard 17:22
    That's awesome. And actually really exciting. Because I think this is a great takeaway for people listening who want to write a book, but feel a little stuck as to what would be in the book, you know, we have a lot of ideas, but we don't know how to contain them. And many of the people listening have blogs have passages of, of stories they've written. And this is a great way to to look at what you've already done. So you had already created this course. And you had all this material. And you're like, at some point, you realized, wow, that's the outline for a book. That's what I can can write to and, and it directed you imagine, to feel more able to approach this project in a way that maybe you wouldn't have if you were on a blank slate.

    18:08
    Absolutely. Yeah, it was a container for sure.

    Jackie Leonard 18:11
    Yeah. So so once you realize that, what did you do next?

    18:16
    I panicked. I was like, oh, no, I guess this course isn't gonna be a course which it might be at some point who knows what's gonna be but hey, panicked. And then I reached out to community I was in I think, during the same time Jackie, I was in your right beside her. And so was feeling super connected to other writers, other women writers, mothers. And I joined Meghan February's kind of her core world, her hub, and I connected, I connected, and I grew confidence through that and connections and support. And I just started. And I one thing that I took with me for a long time, which I've had been, I've heard from many different people is just write it like write it doesn't mean you have to share, it doesn't mean that like, it's going to be anything but if the call is there, just show up to the page. And that's where I started and just started.

    Jackie Leonard 19:13
    And I imagine that was especially necessary for you because I mean, you're writing about something that's very vulnerable and personal, it's something that's you've gone on this, this path yourself and you want to help provide insight and what you've learned along the way to people who so they don't have to do it alone, quote, quote, unquote. So I think that's especially true for for this type of story. Because if you're just jumping into it, you're in that messy draft phase, even if you're in a community that's, you know, the work has to start with you at first. Yeah, and I think there's a lot of pressure because of social media. I'm just like an urgency. I know, I feel like an urgency. Like, once I have an idea, I'm like, I better get it out there. I'm going to see it somewhere else, and I'm gonna be so mad. Yes, yes, there's this urgency to get it out there to claim it. And I think that's what I've learned about the process of writing a longer pieces, it takes a lot of time. And to be okay, like that, kind of like, get ready for the ride the long ride.

    20:25
    Yeah, it's it's a massive surrender. And guys, I mean, it parallels motherhood, where it's like, I'm going to say yes to this, and I have no idea what's in store for me, I have no idea what's going to happen along the road. But here, I am just going to surrender and know that I'll deal with it when it comes up. So kind of been the same thing. Yeah,

    Jackie Leonard 20:46
    yeah, that is an interesting parallel, like, we don't know, this human that we are raising who they're going to be in the long, you know, years down the line, then we just hope that what we're doing now will, you know, have an impact into the future. And our writing is the same way, right? Where we're just scribbling notes down or, you know, free writing as much as we can for an hour. And we just have to hope and trust that that's going to eventually be in book form down the line. So once you found this community, and we're starting to see a lot of, you know, just support or encouragement or just other people doing it and, and visualizing yourself in that same place. Beyond just starting the draft and writing for yourself. Or maybe after that, when did you feel like what else have you done to kind of help organize you or keep you guided and on track? Yeah.

    21:43
    Um, so I fell in love with a, like a writing program. I don't know if that's the right word, but Ulysses, and it was like a way for me to organize my thoughts and like, where everything lived. And it was not word, it wasn't Google Docs, it was like the special place for me. And so I like really felt grounded in there. I'm definitely big on ritual. So I write at the same place, every time I show up, I write in my office where I'm meeting with you, now I sit in the same chair, I have the same tea, I light, something that is nice, I opened the window, I, I definitely have to set myself up with the container. It helps me to even like just get into the groove to get embodied into being able to show up and is this so I didn't know if I was going to share this. But I've listened to the same soundtrack for to write my whole book, and it's max Richards soundtrack. I'm not sure if you saw my brilliant best friend. But it's through that soundtrack that he plays. And I start every time I'm going to write my book with that soundtrack. So I definitely like being held. I love that I

    Jackie Leonard 22:57
    did. I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is like a whole other podcast episode is like the music we listen to right or like the the rituals and containers that we create for ourselves. Because, I mean, you spoke about your specialty and Cymatics and or your interest in Cymatics. And that is, you know, you're you're embodying that you're like, you're your conditioning in your body, your brain to be in the writer mode. And so the same song will help like, tap you into that. The, you know, I like to say, like, incorporates smells, and whatever it is that that will help you shift gears, especially as a mom, right, because we maybe only have 30 minutes, but we really want to get this stuff down. And if, you know, I struggle to like shift gears really quickly and get in the mode. So if there is something that I can, you know, the container that you're creating, that will help zero me and and focus me and as quickly as possible. That's like everything that's that's what's going to help you get to where you want to go much, much more easily.

    24:02
    Yeah, it's definitely been a great tool. And like you said, being a mother, you're constantly interrupted. And so it's some sort of way just to keep tapping been just dropping it and dropping it dropping in.

    Jackie Leonard 24:13
    Yeah. What is this? So the Ulysses program that you shared? I'm intrigued, because I've never heard that this is like a it's like a word processor kind of for, for writing.

    24:23
    Yeah, it's a word processing for writing. Yeah. And it just, you can change the color of the background and kind of have different folders. It's just a place to be organized. And for me, like I have a million journals and will make notes but I need a place I think to be anchored in to be connected in to see it all. So it's really helped me to a lot of do a lot of things.

    Jackie Leonard 24:47
    Yeah. Sounds like a good resource for like a more visual person who needs to be able to see that versus like, a bunch of Google Docs, maybe. Yeah,

    24:58
    yeah, not Google Docs. Yeah. Yeah, lots of things are great there.

    Jackie Leonard 25:02
    I'm a fan. Myself. It is a free resource, of course. But yeah, I've heard up a few different writing programs, and I have not yet heard of Ulysses. So I am very intrigued. That's, that's a new one. So I'm glad I heard about that. Um, anything else, anything else that you've incorporated for yourself as a support system? With where you are right now?

    25:25
    I think just everything I mentioned, really understanding the groove of how I write, you know, I think I romanticize the idea of waking up at 4am. And before my son's awake, and like getting my writing time done. And I tried that a couple of times, and always knew that I was not a morning person, like, that just wouldn't work for me. And so it took me a while to figure out, okay, like, how am I going to show up to this project. And what I discovered was, like, big chunks of time, work better for me. So if I could like do one week for two hours, on one day a week, then that I can get like a big chunk done. I'm not someone who can like every day CO and like, kind of do a little bit and a little bit and a little bit. It's too much. I feel like I didn't get enough, done. I just I don't, it feels. So it's hard to walk away. And so bigger chunks for me work. And I'm grateful that I have the support in my home for my husband to be able to do that. So yeah, that's kind of been a huge learning for me on this process, is how I write when I write all of it, the culture around where I'm writing.

    Jackie Leonard 26:37
    Yeah, this reminds me of something that Megan February actually gave, it felt like, it felt like permission for me, but it was something that I had never heard of before, was that, you know, we always hear about the writer that writes every day gets up early in the morning, as the the way to do it. And similar to you, I just like, I could never make it happen. And I thought like, Okay, well is this just, I'm just not disciplined enough. And it's not like, gonna happen until I get there. But she mentioned, you know, some people go away for like a, you know, a weekend retreat or something and crank out a book or do like a summer residency and crank out their books. And otherwise, they don't really, you know, do that, like daily ritual and like you shared, you know, for you, you've noticed that it doesn't feel right for you to write in these little short chunks. And that really, you'd rather once or every other week or whatever, however long you can, sitting down for a longer extended out multi hour chunk of time, feels better for you to be able to write in that way. And I think what's more important than following a script is figuring out like you said, what works for you what, what feels good in your body, and you're still pushing yourself, you're still, you know, disciplining, you know, trying to maintain a discipline, to to reach your goal. But it doesn't have to look a certain way. And if it's not feeling good in your body, again, to go back to like the semantics of it all. You're not going to generate the work that you want to. And so I love that because I too, feel that way, where if I'm writing in short, little spurts, it kind of bothers me, like, it sits with me in an uncomfortable way. Whereas if I get a long chunk of writing in, I think sometimes I need the space between it to sit with it. And let's think about it and and go from there.

    28:21
    Yeah, it allows for more breathing, like, you know, it allows for more space. And Megan February helped me figure that out for myself, which is was has been such a powerful tool. But yeah, it allows for more space and permission to like, I think, during the week, like if I'm just if I'm in a week where like I wanting to go, there's this extra pressure. There's like, like you mentioned the word urgency, I feel that so much. And so if I'm like, Okay, I know that on Wednesday, between these two times, this is where I can put all that energy. I can continue going in the other direction. Sometimes Sometimes it doesn't work like that. That's the intention. But so far, it's been working.

    Jackie Leonard 29:00
    Yeah, sure. So Alicia, before we wrap up, I want to invite you to share some of your writing. And I believe you're going to be reading an excerpt from the book you've been talking about, correct?

    29:14
    Yes, we'll see if it makes it in but right now. It's, it's, it's slipping in there. Yes. Okay. As I looked into the soft field readiness in my husband's eyes, and imagined what it would be like to bring a world a child into this world. I couldn't help but also hold in the background, my own history, my family's history, and the realities around the impacts of abuse on future generations. I couldn't help but continue to wonder how my body and my nervous system would navigate such a big transition, how I would break intergenerational cycles, how I choose to give birth, how navigating the reproductive system would go, and how I would eventually mother, would I be able to stay present, but I'd be able to experience joy, what I turned to dissociation Freeze. When I know how to advocate for my needs and my body, would I be able to set loving kind boundaries? Would I feel safe enough? What I would I would I, these questions poured themselves into my mind louder and louder at times and at other times like whispers stagnant Lee waiting in the distance. Their presence was always around even when I was not offering them my conscious awareness. Solely I began to battle the ideas around needing to have everything figured out. Even though my controlling and fear filled parts did not like that. When the dust of the word lace chatter finally settled, a sense of clarity presented itself. Not only did my site change, but so did my heart, softly releasing and opening to what could be instead of what has been, I was being shown that I needed to discover a new relationship with trust, trust, a word like choice that has been so complicated for so long. So that's where I began, I moved slowly, I took one thought at a time, I attempted to tell myself that I could trust in this process, that I could move gently, and that I could ask for help. And most importantly, that it was okay for me to have some hard days and even some easy ones. I also reminded myself of all that I had already navigated without intentional plans and how at the end of the day, it is, in fact possible for things to work out. I began to think about how I would like to move into becoming a mother and the ways that I already had a huge part of my growth has been to illuminate and bring forth the parts of my story that I had been hiding away, while finding ways of bringing much needed love and compassion to myself, my own mother, and the generations that came before. I learned ways of giving my internalized anger back to the people who were responsible and to release it to mend and make room for a new way of being in my body. Another significant part of my healing journey was that I had to look at my own patterns in relating to the world and the historical and cultural influences that have impacted my inner landscape. I learned and began practicing a profound healing exercise of envisioning giving my family and my ancestors what they would have needed to heal themselves. And most importantly, I had to learn how to embody the deep knowing that what happened to me was not my fault. And that I my body deserved love, peace and having a child. The psychotherapy and somatic work that I have been done, that I have done up until this point had helped me not only release some of the trauma that I had been carrying with me, but also helped me to manage my triggers, recognize my trauma responses and find safety and respite in my body. Even though most days I felt confident in my ability to attend and resource myself, I couldn't help but wonder how pregnancy birth, postpartum and motherhood might change your challenge all that I had already learned.

    Jackie Leonard 32:48
    Thank you so much for sharing that and thank you for writing this book. I think it's so needed and it's going to be such an important thing to put out into this world. So I wish you all the luck and you know, every thing that you need to make this book happen and get out there. Before we close out, can you share with our listeners how people can connect with you?

    33:13
    Yeah, absolutely. And thank you Jackie, so much for having me and for just the community that you hold and build and bringing so many people together who need it. So yeah, you can find me on Instagram My My name is Alisha dot Moni or you can visit my website at Leisha mani therapy.com.

    Jackie Leonard 33:33
    My conversation with Alicia really has me thinking about a quote by Toni Morrison. She said if there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet. Then you must write it. Taking that into consideration along with all the wisdom and insight Leisha shared with us, I'd come up with this week's writing prompt, which is write the story you wish you'd read before becoming a mother thanks so much for listening to Mother writer. My hope is that you walk away from this episode feeling a little bit seen inspired to write and ready to proudly call yourself a mother writer. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave us a review. And if you're looking for more support on your writing journey, come join us inside the mother scope writers club a weekly membership for our community of moms who right just like you learn more at Motherscope.com

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